Letting go of disappointment
“Winners don’t stay down for long because they’ve cracked the code for getting OUT of a disappointment mindset.”
Life has a way of throwing us curved balls and as a result, every day thousands of people have all sorts of reasons to feel disappointed. Yet as some people seem to have a better ability to ‘just get over it’ than others, it’s worth a closer look at why disappointment can be such a weight on our soul and explore tools we can use to get out of it.
Disappointment can be separated out into the three feelings of anger, sadness and fear. These can come at us in a confusing, swirling mixture of overwhelming emotions which unchecked have the power to paralyse us into despondency.
These feelings each have distinct messages attached to them. Anger is a reminder that we need to cancel or terminate something. It could be to stop behaving in a certain way, or to terminate a damaging relationship. Fear and anxiety on the other hand are a reminder to ‘wake up’ to something that needs attention. Perhaps we are fearful of the loss of a client, in which case the action might be to step closer to them, or actively seek new ones. Sadness is associated with loss and the need to let go. For example, we might feel sad at the loss of a partner and need to let go and mourn their passing.
Taking these actions are what moves us out of disappointment back to balance again.
As I don’t like feeling despondent or disappointed, I created my own simple 3-step process to get OUT of disappointment and back to happiness and gratitude.
- O is for Observe. In the first stages of disappointment I allow myself time to observe and acknowledge this feeling without judgement. I list of all the reasons why I feel disappointed.
- U is for Understand. Next, I look at my list to understand what I can learn from it and link one of the three emotions – anger, sadness and fear to each one.
- T is for Take Action. Next, I take action to move myself move myself out of the feeling underlying my disappointment so I can get back to gratitude and balance again.
Winners don’t stay down for long because they’ve cracked the code for getting OUT of a disappointment mindset, so if you have been feeling this way, I hope this simple but powerful 3-step process helps you to find a pathway back to balance and that along the way you find unexpected gifts to be grateful for.
Have a fantastic week.
Ps. The book The 15 commitments of conscious leadership by Jim Dethmer et al has some useful insights into this and other leadership challenges.