Let’s push through fear
“No one gets to their destination without having faced and mastered fear.”
There is a well known book entitled ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’ by Susan Jeffers, which reminds us of two things; firstly, that fear is everywhere, and secondly, that fear is our friend. Without fear, the chances are that none of us would have reached adulthood. We would all die from jumping out of high windows and running in front of oncoming buses. The job of fear is to keep us safe.
Fear also lurks everywhere, and everyone suffers from it, in greater or lesser degrees. Children, parents, leaders, film stars, young and old alike ‘feel the fear’. The question is, how can we push through fear to reach the life of our dreams? A healthy relationship with fear is one where we have the ability to recognise and decode its message as you would a map or GPS tracker – go left, go right, stop, do a U-turn, go straight. Just like a tracker though, we have to ask the question “How best can I get to my destination?”.
When we have an unhealthy relationship with fear, we often hide away from life and avoid putting in a destination or we ask the wrong question, which is, “Can I get to my destination?”. That question puts fear in control, and fear likes to answer “No, you cannot” or “No you screwed up back there and now you are lost in the wilderness. Sorry for you!”.
As masters of our own destiny, we can learn to harness the gift of fear and use it to guide us towards our goals. The way to do this is:
Firstly, acknowledge when we feel fear. Thank you, you recognise it.
Secondly, recognise the different types of fear and learn to decode their meaning. Ask yourself – is this a genuine fear (will I really die if I drive on this road?) or merely a gentle warning (drive more cautiously).
Thirdly, ask the empowering question “HOW can I reach my destination?” Develop the muscle power to navigate through and overcome fears – depending on what they are this could be by gathering more information, completing incomplete tasks, practising a presentation, asking for help or taking smaller steps towards our goals.
And perhaps lastly, just know that no one gets to their destination without having faced and mastered fear and the more we practice the stronger we get so that we learn how to feel the fear and do it anyway.