I was recently chatting to a young employee on his last day at work. He had resigned and completed his notice period and was running me through some content as part of his exit handover. As we concluded the session, I congratulated him on his progress and asked him which company he was joining. To which he replied, “Oh, I haven’t decided yet. I have a few offers that I’m considering”.

The truth was that he had signed his contract and was on his way to join the new company the very next week. He knew exactly where he was going.

Why did he lie to me? His final words left me with a bad taste in my mouth. My level of trust in him dropped 50 basis points. You may think, ‘So what, he doesn’t work for you anymore, ‘ and yes, that is true, but many an employee has become a boomerang asking for their job back. The world is so connected that our paths or those of our colleagues are sure to cross.

If we look around us, we see many a promising relationship, both work and personal, fail because of small dishonesties that build into bigger lies, that eventually break the trust that was the foundation of the partnership. The connection becomes stifled because the truth is withheld.

So why do we lie? We all do it in greater or lesser amounts. Small dishonesties, the withholding of information. Is it to avoid conflict, to keep the peace or not to disappoint? Is it an act of cowardice or of respect? Is it an act of aggression or of culture and kindness? Is it simply a habit from childhood?

I don’t know the answer, but I do know the impact. Lies eventually lead to loss. Loss of trust and credibility. Loss of connection and loss of opportunity.

When we lie, we trade today’s easy solution for a bigger problem tomorrow.

I’d love to know if you lie and if so, why and when? How do you deal with your children when they fall into the same trap?